De Rode Loper- Dasarts Festival 10 september 2005
Installation as in Test portal will be developped once more in the Ten Kate Hal, DasArts.
Installation as in Test portal will be developped once more in the Ten Kate Hal, DasArts.
Website: To GIFT
You might alreaddy know this text fro it is IT proposal jan 2005
Mysteries were imbedded in the Ancient comedies and tragedies, initiation rituals. To really understand a work of Theatre, one must go back to the roots of ritual and investigate the meaning behind each acting.
Desire to connect the different fields of interest in my life into One: Concentration, New working basis Wish to fullfil an obsessive dream that inspired me to develop my skills for more than 10 years and Need to study indept, to take distance of everyday reality and paying close attention to theatre of the world practical translation into my personal visual language, signification develop from 2 to 3 dimension, 5th ? Create a symbolical grid that be the basics for works ahead, either film, website, theatre..performance
I have visited Tamil Nadu, India in the past and the visions of living cosmology choreography have never left my mind. I started to develop all kinds of habits to be able to go back once and film that unspeakable vision. Starting point was "The priest as a a director, with peoples as a secret actor in a cosmic drama". I highly started to doubt the central role of a priest/director after block 21 with Discordia. Priests in the new millenium have proved abusive of their initiation knowledge=power, and therefore I would keep my critical eye and camera open on priests around. Still as an astrologer I communicate easily with a priest language, also my feet are kissed !….. Tension point in my hermetic starting research is most probably the fact that "the untouchable" lower class of Indian Societyis not allowed to participate in Temple rituals, being welcome to muslim religions.
Video- research /website
I wish to start my IT research/observations in India, Southern India, Tamil Nadu, world heritage historical Ritual grounds. A research in understanding through very vivid and alive elaborate polytheistic rituals some very basics about the Theatre of the World. To capture color, sound, emotions and energy's, character combinations and Life themes (visual exampl) into anoverview to contribute to personal and hopefully public understanding visualised in a palet of 49 little film fragments. ( see image) This material will be presented in a website ( Tropenmuseum shows eventual interest for exibition in autum 2005, Ben Meulenbeld)
Place of research: in and around : The Hindu Temple
represents the Outer and the Inner cosmos. The outer is expressed in terms of various astronomical connections between the temple structure and the motions of the sun , the moon and the planets. The inner cosmos is represented in forms of consciuosness at the womb of the temple and various levels of the superstructure that correspond to the states of consciousness. The position of the gods in the vastupurushamandala within the temple is a symbolic representation of the spatial projections of the cosmic purusha in his own body.( Subhash Kak)
Lecture
During my theatre studies at Dasarts I became aware of a fascinating relation from ancient Indian cosmology to Dionyssian, Greek , and Shakesperian Drama, passing through Astrology, (see link) mythology and the memory Theatre of Giulio Camillo. I could imagine myself developping this idea towards todays individualistic language and prepare a staged lecture (using filmed material, research material and gueast speakers as I meet very interesting peoples on my way.)
Performance
A choreocosmic Obscene Serene Psychomachia: Temper Tantrums for the Inner Sky, In the End of my IT I wish to develop a performance in a suitable architecture. I might for example try to write monologues for different chacras or experiment a more risque Live ritual. I see myself in this performance as a writer or director, initiator to share a fragile raw experiment of body conscience. Secretly I have some ideas about this already, but I wish to leave the proces of changement open and flexible for that is the pure richness of the possiblity to work at DasArts, the observation of my own working process, the discovering is my blessing.
Space
Meanwhile I hope, in relation to my research to find the spaces according to my new found vision, For the moment I am very interested in Round, Globe architecture, in India I will visit Traditional temples of Sacred architecture but also a brand new ritual Globe in Auroville, the Matri Mandir, Europese parlement in Brussels, Pantheon in Rome etc. Just as open air theatre in Bloemendaal are very much on my hioghest example list In June I am invited to create collaborations with artists at the Festival Testportal with the central Theme SPACE
I have found joy and honor to arrange communication about my project with the following persons: DasArts: Nan Hoover, Christina Anderssen, Chris Keulemans, Gabriel Smeets Robert Steijn, Theatermaker gasthuis / Erwin Jans , dramaturg Ro theater Subhash Kak, information technology, and quantum information processing Ben Meulenveld, conservator Tropenmuseum Saskia Kersenboom, UVA dance Adrie van de Ven, Chacra therapeut Patricia de Rijter, curator Testportal 2005
WORKING PLAN
07 02: discussion at DasArts about IT
08 02: Depart to Chennai, Madras Tamil Nadu. Visiting sun, moon, mars, mercury, venus, jupiter and saturn temples. Visiting most ancient and biggest temples and visiting new age Auroville . During our stay we will participate in 3 important Hindu festivals In the India Part Zoot Derks will be production assistent and second camaraman for the first month We plan on filming a color/ god/ energy a day, examining both positive and negative emotions of the same. Than taking our imagery slowly to developping relations between the different characters, deitys or powers As we encounter them reflected in Society in and around the temple life. One week we will spend organising a filmset with peoples ( due to the tsunami I am looking for a new option) We plan on shooting ourselves every mornig in front of the camera as a performance research as well I have created a weblog to update curious friends by internet http://genet.blogspot.com/ I plan to encounter Ben Meulenbeld ( Tropenmuseum) and some connections of Saskia Kersenboom ( UVA) I wish more, possibilities enough, Madras Filmschool assistance, finding animation artists, Madhu Marghi etc. I need a lot of possibilities to be able to be flexible and going on with realities most suitable course. We all know that imagening in Amsterdam is different than being in Southern India but I try to communicate a certain realm.
23 march
I will be back at DasArts to discuss my process with most probably a terrible fantastic* Mentor or more I hope to discuss with Robert Steijn and anybody welcome, it is a great idea that peoples are interested With Rob Verdegaal I will develop a simple but effective website most probably based on frontpage image. Throughout april 2005 I will edit and spot, view and upload my material End of April Ben Meulenbeld will see wether my thing is suitable for his exhibition still
May 2005
I wish to spend time studiing and preparing a lecture, connecting my findings to hermetism of the middle ages and new age of today, through 7 sinns and 7 chacras, monologues or dialogues or speechless manifestation or maybe I will be able to approach a more Shakespearian grid of the universe I am very curious and curious myself…….waht will be the pesentation Chips and Dips, Changeing courses with Mentors of DasArts, and starting to prepare basics for a performance. Maybe sending in video material to film or new media festival, I might love to have some acces to UVA, or workshops that rightly enrich my knowledge here. Hermetic library
June 2005
I am invited to Participate for the month at Testportal 2005, Space, RUIMTE = Theme Part of the invitation is lecture about my work ( as artist interintroduction), performance and collaboration. There is a variety of international artists. As a guest curator I have invited Aida Rezda with whom I will collaborate. Aida Rezda is known as a guest teacher at dasArts block 20. In December 2004 we first collaborated in a sjamanistic storie telling exchange project for her post graduate dance school in Rotterdam. I think developping Ritual body work, maybe of a healing or confronting nature (Obscene serene Temper Tantrums for the inner sky)
July, augustus
I hope to develop a piece on a nature theatre, so I would love to start producing and pr-ring things, If =DasArts agrees, rehearsals and finding sponsors for I am afraid I dont want to get "free, cheap actors" Location, audition, rehearsal, flyer, publicity, I would really love to develop all this as a professional ending as I am imagening right now, I will have good health and sponsors and and… very very good LUCK
September 2005
I may inscribe for OFF LIMITS Festival in Dortmund, Theme Legacies (meeting for IETM) nov 2005 inscribing for Plateaux festival frankfurt/M ( through C Anderssen) In Oktober 2005 zootengenant are invited to have an exhibition in Galerie de Praktijk ( Dirk Vermeulen)
Mysteries were imbedded in the Ancient comedies and tragedies, initiation rituals. To really understand a work of Theatre, one must go back to the roots of ritual and investigate the meaning behind each acting.
Desire to connect the different fields of interest in my life into One: Concentration, New working basis Wish to fullfil an obsessive dream that inspired me to develop my skills for more than 10 years and Need to study indept, to take distance of everyday reality and paying close attention to theatre of the world practical translation into my personal visual language, signification develop from 2 to 3 dimension, 5th ? Create a symbolical grid that be the basics for works ahead, either film, website, theatre..performance
I have visited Tamil Nadu, India in the past and the visions of living cosmology choreography have never left my mind. I started to develop all kinds of habits to be able to go back once and film that unspeakable vision. Starting point was "The priest as a a director, with peoples as a secret actor in a cosmic drama". I highly started to doubt the central role of a priest/director after block 21 with Discordia. Priests in the new millenium have proved abusive of their initiation knowledge=power, and therefore I would keep my critical eye and camera open on priests around. Still as an astrologer I communicate easily with a priest language, also my feet are kissed !….. Tension point in my hermetic starting research is most probably the fact that "the untouchable" lower class of Indian Societyis not allowed to participate in Temple rituals, being welcome to muslim religions.
Video- research /website
I wish to start my IT research/observations in India, Southern India, Tamil Nadu, world heritage historical Ritual grounds. A research in understanding through very vivid and alive elaborate polytheistic rituals some very basics about the Theatre of the World. To capture color, sound, emotions and energy's, character combinations and Life themes (visual exampl) into anoverview to contribute to personal and hopefully public understanding visualised in a palet of 49 little film fragments. ( see image) This material will be presented in a website ( Tropenmuseum shows eventual interest for exibition in autum 2005, Ben Meulenbeld)
Place of research: in and around : The Hindu Temple
represents the Outer and the Inner cosmos. The outer is expressed in terms of various astronomical connections between the temple structure and the motions of the sun , the moon and the planets. The inner cosmos is represented in forms of consciuosness at the womb of the temple and various levels of the superstructure that correspond to the states of consciousness. The position of the gods in the vastupurushamandala within the temple is a symbolic representation of the spatial projections of the cosmic purusha in his own body.( Subhash Kak)
Lecture
During my theatre studies at Dasarts I became aware of a fascinating relation from ancient Indian cosmology to Dionyssian, Greek , and Shakesperian Drama, passing through Astrology, (see link) mythology and the memory Theatre of Giulio Camillo. I could imagine myself developping this idea towards todays individualistic language and prepare a staged lecture (using filmed material, research material and gueast speakers as I meet very interesting peoples on my way.)
Performance
A choreocosmic Obscene Serene Psychomachia: Temper Tantrums for the Inner Sky, In the End of my IT I wish to develop a performance in a suitable architecture. I might for example try to write monologues for different chacras or experiment a more risque Live ritual. I see myself in this performance as a writer or director, initiator to share a fragile raw experiment of body conscience. Secretly I have some ideas about this already, but I wish to leave the proces of changement open and flexible for that is the pure richness of the possiblity to work at DasArts, the observation of my own working process, the discovering is my blessing.
Space
Meanwhile I hope, in relation to my research to find the spaces according to my new found vision, For the moment I am very interested in Round, Globe architecture, in India I will visit Traditional temples of Sacred architecture but also a brand new ritual Globe in Auroville, the Matri Mandir, Europese parlement in Brussels, Pantheon in Rome etc. Just as open air theatre in Bloemendaal are very much on my hioghest example list In June I am invited to create collaborations with artists at the Festival Testportal with the central Theme SPACE
I have found joy and honor to arrange communication about my project with the following persons: DasArts: Nan Hoover, Christina Anderssen, Chris Keulemans, Gabriel Smeets Robert Steijn, Theatermaker gasthuis / Erwin Jans , dramaturg Ro theater Subhash Kak, information technology, and quantum information processing Ben Meulenveld, conservator Tropenmuseum Saskia Kersenboom, UVA dance Adrie van de Ven, Chacra therapeut Patricia de Rijter, curator Testportal 2005
WORKING PLAN
07 02: discussion at DasArts about IT
08 02: Depart to Chennai, Madras Tamil Nadu. Visiting sun, moon, mars, mercury, venus, jupiter and saturn temples. Visiting most ancient and biggest temples and visiting new age Auroville . During our stay we will participate in 3 important Hindu festivals In the India Part Zoot Derks will be production assistent and second camaraman for the first month We plan on filming a color/ god/ energy a day, examining both positive and negative emotions of the same. Than taking our imagery slowly to developping relations between the different characters, deitys or powers As we encounter them reflected in Society in and around the temple life. One week we will spend organising a filmset with peoples ( due to the tsunami I am looking for a new option) We plan on shooting ourselves every mornig in front of the camera as a performance research as well I have created a weblog to update curious friends by internet http://genet.blogspot.com/ I plan to encounter Ben Meulenbeld ( Tropenmuseum) and some connections of Saskia Kersenboom ( UVA) I wish more, possibilities enough, Madras Filmschool assistance, finding animation artists, Madhu Marghi etc. I need a lot of possibilities to be able to be flexible and going on with realities most suitable course. We all know that imagening in Amsterdam is different than being in Southern India but I try to communicate a certain realm.
23 march
I will be back at DasArts to discuss my process with most probably a terrible fantastic* Mentor or more I hope to discuss with Robert Steijn and anybody welcome, it is a great idea that peoples are interested With Rob Verdegaal I will develop a simple but effective website most probably based on frontpage image. Throughout april 2005 I will edit and spot, view and upload my material End of April Ben Meulenbeld will see wether my thing is suitable for his exhibition still
May 2005
I wish to spend time studiing and preparing a lecture, connecting my findings to hermetism of the middle ages and new age of today, through 7 sinns and 7 chacras, monologues or dialogues or speechless manifestation or maybe I will be able to approach a more Shakespearian grid of the universe I am very curious and curious myself…….waht will be the pesentation Chips and Dips, Changeing courses with Mentors of DasArts, and starting to prepare basics for a performance. Maybe sending in video material to film or new media festival, I might love to have some acces to UVA, or workshops that rightly enrich my knowledge here. Hermetic library
June 2005
I am invited to Participate for the month at Testportal 2005, Space, RUIMTE = Theme Part of the invitation is lecture about my work ( as artist interintroduction), performance and collaboration. There is a variety of international artists. As a guest curator I have invited Aida Rezda with whom I will collaborate. Aida Rezda is known as a guest teacher at dasArts block 20. In December 2004 we first collaborated in a sjamanistic storie telling exchange project for her post graduate dance school in Rotterdam. I think developping Ritual body work, maybe of a healing or confronting nature (Obscene serene Temper Tantrums for the inner sky)
July, augustus
I hope to develop a piece on a nature theatre, so I would love to start producing and pr-ring things, If =DasArts agrees, rehearsals and finding sponsors for I am afraid I dont want to get "free, cheap actors" Location, audition, rehearsal, flyer, publicity, I would really love to develop all this as a professional ending as I am imagening right now, I will have good health and sponsors and and… very very good LUCK
September 2005
I may inscribe for OFF LIMITS Festival in Dortmund, Theme Legacies (meeting for IETM) nov 2005 inscribing for Plateaux festival frankfurt/M ( through C Anderssen) In Oktober 2005 zootengenant are invited to have an exhibition in Galerie de Praktijk ( Dirk Vermeulen)
"Telephone all a person in hospital" might have been the first direction, "audition for a planet" the second. The participation on Test-Portal festival (space for the idealist artist) lay open to experiment the introduction, an installation, intake, initiation of a performance-sect. Research in public, Could I sell a sect? Would I be able to raise this kind of space travel agency, recruitment office for the selfrealised individuals howling for beyond? Would peoples inscribe or react? Was I able to guide a crowd, explain?Explain What? Use my planetary friends to guide an audience?
We brainstormed the possibilities, with Mentors at DasArst Hooman Sharifi, Boris Gerrets and Kristina Andersson I visited the place, the walk, and the huge space of the NDSM where I had just moved to a new atelier and was invited to experiment in Test-Portal. The fact of imagination seeing scenes, of complete barren emptiness, or wild overdone ritual scenes, The commerical side of a guru visit. In fact the space itself, a huge concrete platform. As I explained to Erwin Jans, a slippery slope the perfect setting, reflection of my feeling of the subject, whet Hellende vlak- between new age and sect, religion in 2005 the midlife crisis all around me. Times for conviction with an impossibility to turn to traditional religions at war and a need for intimacy and reflection peoples guide themselves through wonderful self-made rituals. An anthropology of my friends imago reflected in an old harbor, Maritime Quarter, overtaken by nature and graffiti.
I invited a few of them to make an audio interview (Extreme hygiene ritual) A film (full moon mother-milk spritzen), a French midlife cry mantra song making. I was gathering material in different layers and still referring to the memory theatres Image I had in mind since the beginning of this IT. I thought of an audio system on the broad terrain my old friend: illegal radio was suggested to me by Kristina Andersson an I immediately felt the Zendingsdrang.
We brainstormed the possibilities, with Mentors at DasArst Hooman Sharifi, Boris Gerrets and Kristina Andersson I visited the place, the walk, and the huge space of the NDSM where I had just moved to a new atelier and was invited to experiment in Test-Portal. The fact of imagination seeing scenes, of complete barren emptiness, or wild overdone ritual scenes, The commerical side of a guru visit. In fact the space itself, a huge concrete platform. As I explained to Erwin Jans, a slippery slope the perfect setting, reflection of my feeling of the subject, whet Hellende vlak- between new age and sect, religion in 2005 the midlife crisis all around me. Times for conviction with an impossibility to turn to traditional religions at war and a need for intimacy and reflection peoples guide themselves through wonderful self-made rituals. An anthropology of my friends imago reflected in an old harbor, Maritime Quarter, overtaken by nature and graffiti.
I invited a few of them to make an audio interview (Extreme hygiene ritual) A film (full moon mother-milk spritzen), a French midlife cry mantra song making. I was gathering material in different layers and still referring to the memory theatres Image I had in mind since the beginning of this IT. I thought of an audio system on the broad terrain my old friend: illegal radio was suggested to me by Kristina Andersson an I immediately felt the Zendingsdrang.
I had a Visitation
I've spent a week in Hospital in Chennai before returning home. It frustrated me from visiting Filmacademy at Chennai and deeper contacts in a filmstudio, but another happening occurred. The reason for my stay at the hospital was between the ears. The equilibrium organ had left me and the ears became hypersensitive, even until today I notion the change. By an act of my husband to send e-mail around to a large number of my friends, I got a visitation in my ears. They were all calling me up from all over the world. Friends and their voices became at this point most en farmost more important than donation systems or any kind of Solar system and worshiping reasons of ancient past.
Back in Amsterdam while trying to see how we have translated our divinities in the modern West, I could picture theFootball station for Apollo and the Bijenkorf for a Venus temple. The pub and tidal mass entertainment for the Moon and even found a Mercury temple for the students. Jupiter at court yes I could find the ancient mythology back in the world at large, but... For my personal rituals I seemed to turn my Friends into archetypal gods, a male and a female one for all of them was not very difficult to find. Always complimenting Venus, confronting and strengthening with Mars and structuring with Saturn. Rebelling with Uranus was even a chapter we didn't touch in South India. Relationships between theme and more complex personalities. A gossip circuit..Yes I planned on continuing my research for characters as archetypal stories. The Janus head in each and every one of them. As I am born on the New Year always been fascinated by a clearly divided past and future, dark and light, left and right from the same person.
The transforming of peoples around me, the ritual dance of characters in relationships expressing and living their talents in the strongest and weakest aspects. Characters are Archetypes, larger than life assuming an aspect of a Myth. Yes, a perfect horoscope surrounding a reflecting myself, a self-portrait in different layers. To reflect together I started with the organization of an...
Audition
Everybody a god, a polytheistic, over-selfrealised individualised Western world. Self-development, belief, enlightenment and worshipping we all know yoga vegetarianism, tantra and Krsinamurti of any other boeddha meditation. A whole new vocabulary: Poldertantra. We Idealized our self-image to an infinite extend of positivism and selfrealisation. We conduct the powers of a divine source and each and every one of us became a director of its own life, lifestyle and takes personal responsibility of its design. Hence we miss a certain intimacy; we have no time for we are busying self-realizing and keeping up with ideal images we project onto the world.
I started to visit friends and interview them on specific level. Saturn, according to Hindu temple structure connecting to the rectum, the base, the structure was the first. My friend told me that ever since she got control over her excremental Rhythm by clismas she feels liberated. The Muscleman I ve chosen to be Mars shows me his hobby of checking erections of masturbating young man on his internet screen, and Venus worries about the shadows of pleasure. Off course these are but a shadow of an intimate conversation while discussing talents like structure and control, virility and immune system, beauty and seduction. I am fascinated by the words and stories, in all I think as a research I visit all planets in my friends and get confronted with their personal sometimes-unconscious analogical rituals.
However here as I discuss the stage of my research with dasArts Harko Haagsma, we try to develop a working method to film. Portraits. Planning the films and starting with one was the agenda, but the method-thinking starts to frustrate the process. Communication fails, aim unclear, and suspicion with the friends. Where is the limit to privacy? Meanwhile The method thinking (very new for me, as a tend to follow my natural logics) is becoming a project on its own, research on the net, books at the store and lists of ideas drift me away from the idea of illustrating those personal stories. Interesting scetches but yes: still without plot. I have to reconsider this for the impact in our friendship relation. Not mature for a scenario yet. As I invent to make audio recordings in order to collect texts for my characters, even the stories disappear as soon as the phallic microphone comes into the picture.
I consider giving them all each my camera for a few days and register themselves their own rituals but by that time there is a real difficulty to reach anybody out there. Communication doesn't seem to work out practical. Venus starts to mistrust and fear her imago, Mars isn't really willing to share her competitive nature at a large audience, and Uranus is far to busy organizing her festival to even think of being interviewed. Venus makes a French mantra and Moon acts in full moon light a mothermilk fountain...beautifull material still untouched in my drawer, But mini disc recordings mysteriously erased. For the machine has very sensitive buttons I didnt master.
Deception
Having an ideal and the deception was at the same time theme of this IT research. Buying a ticket for a rich Dravidian culture and confronting the effects of a Tsunami, From wanting to film to audio story collection. In any case there was an obstruction that tried to paralyzed the natural happening of it. The playfulness disappeared by thinking too serious and material didn't just happen to come intuitively and by shooting finding out. The process of knowing what to film exactly in detail was blocking a natural flow of happening. What is the use of creating if you alreaddy know exactly What you are making ? Where was my inuition and moreso the connection with the feeling that I knew what I wanted to say but I needed to visualise to express it for my words seem not always adequate.
I've talked with DasArts dramaturg Jan van de Berg wearing an amulet from Mercury temple around my neck. The thing was making my skin all around very dark, an amulet to try to communicate without being misunderstood.( religion/ new age/ related to my personal visions is a tricky subject) It was a bit ridiculous but I have the impression that it worked. My cards on the table he could still encourage me to continue, also in the 3 dimesional space given by Test-Port. With the other mentors I started to focus on an installation at the festival to confront my ideas to a larger audiance to test and find out its values. Experiment with the ritual for a larger audience and reaching out for peoples beyond my friends circle.
Relationships with my friends inspired a lot of soap opera, dramayama all around me and to be honest I've started writing the characters down, thought about writing a soap of a theatre presentation of my friends presenting themselves and me gossiping their stories (for I have to say, I love telling the marvels around those colorful peoples a lot. Maybe I should just change their names and take actors to be able to push the limits. Writing however, I love it but it takes me a very longtime to sit down and start. I visualise more naturally)
Radio Midlife Cry
Converting is certainly a universal theme for the people surrounding my generation or me. Painfully struck by the struggling ego disillusioned that after all those years of work we just discover the immense world around us and our petittteness. Many turn to children or job, crisis in personality relationships. I surf Midlife sites and feel like starting a radio show Radio Midlife Cry
Initially I wanted to make an installation/initiation for those 40+ a Midlife cry recruitment office. But after mentor talks with Chris Keulemans we agreed there seemed to be a loss of ideology for all generations Young students of DasArts started to doubt if they would be welcome. Personally I had a hard time breaking up the limits again. I think this world is truly forgetting generation X and they are in Crisis.
I've started to make a picture wall for the recruitment office, inviting wallpaper to seduce audience into modern spirituality. I placed everybody into their own planet, their own bubble together alone. A huge photoshop work, 20 meters on my computer screen, in a week. Send my cd rom to be printed in India and left for a smell week to the Mediterranean to read some books in peace. Peter Sloterdijk was upcoming with a workshop to DasArts.
I've spent a week in Hospital in Chennai before returning home. It frustrated me from visiting Filmacademy at Chennai and deeper contacts in a filmstudio, but another happening occurred. The reason for my stay at the hospital was between the ears. The equilibrium organ had left me and the ears became hypersensitive, even until today I notion the change. By an act of my husband to send e-mail around to a large number of my friends, I got a visitation in my ears. They were all calling me up from all over the world. Friends and their voices became at this point most en farmost more important than donation systems or any kind of Solar system and worshiping reasons of ancient past.
Back in Amsterdam while trying to see how we have translated our divinities in the modern West, I could picture theFootball station for Apollo and the Bijenkorf for a Venus temple. The pub and tidal mass entertainment for the Moon and even found a Mercury temple for the students. Jupiter at court yes I could find the ancient mythology back in the world at large, but... For my personal rituals I seemed to turn my Friends into archetypal gods, a male and a female one for all of them was not very difficult to find. Always complimenting Venus, confronting and strengthening with Mars and structuring with Saturn. Rebelling with Uranus was even a chapter we didn't touch in South India. Relationships between theme and more complex personalities. A gossip circuit..Yes I planned on continuing my research for characters as archetypal stories. The Janus head in each and every one of them. As I am born on the New Year always been fascinated by a clearly divided past and future, dark and light, left and right from the same person.
The transforming of peoples around me, the ritual dance of characters in relationships expressing and living their talents in the strongest and weakest aspects. Characters are Archetypes, larger than life assuming an aspect of a Myth. Yes, a perfect horoscope surrounding a reflecting myself, a self-portrait in different layers. To reflect together I started with the organization of an...
Audition
Everybody a god, a polytheistic, over-selfrealised individualised Western world. Self-development, belief, enlightenment and worshipping we all know yoga vegetarianism, tantra and Krsinamurti of any other boeddha meditation. A whole new vocabulary: Poldertantra. We Idealized our self-image to an infinite extend of positivism and selfrealisation. We conduct the powers of a divine source and each and every one of us became a director of its own life, lifestyle and takes personal responsibility of its design. Hence we miss a certain intimacy; we have no time for we are busying self-realizing and keeping up with ideal images we project onto the world.
I started to visit friends and interview them on specific level. Saturn, according to Hindu temple structure connecting to the rectum, the base, the structure was the first. My friend told me that ever since she got control over her excremental Rhythm by clismas she feels liberated. The Muscleman I ve chosen to be Mars shows me his hobby of checking erections of masturbating young man on his internet screen, and Venus worries about the shadows of pleasure. Off course these are but a shadow of an intimate conversation while discussing talents like structure and control, virility and immune system, beauty and seduction. I am fascinated by the words and stories, in all I think as a research I visit all planets in my friends and get confronted with their personal sometimes-unconscious analogical rituals.
However here as I discuss the stage of my research with dasArts Harko Haagsma, we try to develop a working method to film. Portraits. Planning the films and starting with one was the agenda, but the method-thinking starts to frustrate the process. Communication fails, aim unclear, and suspicion with the friends. Where is the limit to privacy? Meanwhile The method thinking (very new for me, as a tend to follow my natural logics) is becoming a project on its own, research on the net, books at the store and lists of ideas drift me away from the idea of illustrating those personal stories. Interesting scetches but yes: still without plot. I have to reconsider this for the impact in our friendship relation. Not mature for a scenario yet. As I invent to make audio recordings in order to collect texts for my characters, even the stories disappear as soon as the phallic microphone comes into the picture.
I consider giving them all each my camera for a few days and register themselves their own rituals but by that time there is a real difficulty to reach anybody out there. Communication doesn't seem to work out practical. Venus starts to mistrust and fear her imago, Mars isn't really willing to share her competitive nature at a large audience, and Uranus is far to busy organizing her festival to even think of being interviewed. Venus makes a French mantra and Moon acts in full moon light a mothermilk fountain...beautifull material still untouched in my drawer, But mini disc recordings mysteriously erased. For the machine has very sensitive buttons I didnt master.
Deception
Having an ideal and the deception was at the same time theme of this IT research. Buying a ticket for a rich Dravidian culture and confronting the effects of a Tsunami, From wanting to film to audio story collection. In any case there was an obstruction that tried to paralyzed the natural happening of it. The playfulness disappeared by thinking too serious and material didn't just happen to come intuitively and by shooting finding out. The process of knowing what to film exactly in detail was blocking a natural flow of happening. What is the use of creating if you alreaddy know exactly What you are making ? Where was my inuition and moreso the connection with the feeling that I knew what I wanted to say but I needed to visualise to express it for my words seem not always adequate.
I've talked with DasArts dramaturg Jan van de Berg wearing an amulet from Mercury temple around my neck. The thing was making my skin all around very dark, an amulet to try to communicate without being misunderstood.( religion/ new age/ related to my personal visions is a tricky subject) It was a bit ridiculous but I have the impression that it worked. My cards on the table he could still encourage me to continue, also in the 3 dimesional space given by Test-Port. With the other mentors I started to focus on an installation at the festival to confront my ideas to a larger audiance to test and find out its values. Experiment with the ritual for a larger audience and reaching out for peoples beyond my friends circle.
Relationships with my friends inspired a lot of soap opera, dramayama all around me and to be honest I've started writing the characters down, thought about writing a soap of a theatre presentation of my friends presenting themselves and me gossiping their stories (for I have to say, I love telling the marvels around those colorful peoples a lot. Maybe I should just change their names and take actors to be able to push the limits. Writing however, I love it but it takes me a very longtime to sit down and start. I visualise more naturally)
Radio Midlife Cry
Converting is certainly a universal theme for the people surrounding my generation or me. Painfully struck by the struggling ego disillusioned that after all those years of work we just discover the immense world around us and our petittteness. Many turn to children or job, crisis in personality relationships. I surf Midlife sites and feel like starting a radio show Radio Midlife Cry
Initially I wanted to make an installation/initiation for those 40+ a Midlife cry recruitment office. But after mentor talks with Chris Keulemans we agreed there seemed to be a loss of ideology for all generations Young students of DasArts started to doubt if they would be welcome. Personally I had a hard time breaking up the limits again. I think this world is truly forgetting generation X and they are in Crisis.
I've started to make a picture wall for the recruitment office, inviting wallpaper to seduce audience into modern spirituality. I placed everybody into their own planet, their own bubble together alone. A huge photoshop work, 20 meters on my computer screen, in a week. Send my cd rom to be printed in India and left for a smell week to the Mediterranean to read some books in peace. Peter Sloterdijk was upcoming with a workshop to DasArts.